Wake Up, Dummy! (This Ain’t Rocket Science)
You’re about to use apps that throw gift cards at you for doing almost nothing. Like, literally… nothing. Walk into a store? Here’s a card. Click an ad? Here’s a card. Breathe near your phone? You guessed it.
Your only job: Don’t mess it up.
The “Push Button, Get Card” Machines
PayPal Honey (Rewards for Forgetting You Were Shopping)
- Add the browser thingy.
- Shop like your credit score doesn’t exist.
- Get points just for showing up.
→ joinhoney.com
Life Lesson: Yes, the thing saving you coupons is now giving you money. Capitalism is confused.
MyPoints (Click Spam, Get Paid)
- Click emails you’d normally delete.
- Watch videos made in 2007.
- Redeem points for real gift cards.
Self-roast: Even your spam folder works harder than you now.
Drop (Link Card, Forget It Exists)
- Add your bank card.
- Spend like a zombie.
- Points magically appear.
Warning: Redemption speed = snail trapped in a Rubik’s cube.
Shopkick (Walk → Scan → Profit?)
- Open app.
- Walk into store like a confused tourist.
- Scan random shampoo bottles like you’re doing science.
Pro move: Don’t get arrested for “excessive scanning.”
Mistplay (Play Games, Tell Mom You’re Working)
- Install.
- Play the games it tells you to.
- Boom—gift cards.
Twist: This is the first time wasting time… is productive.
Amazon Shopper Panel (Elite Club for Receipt Nerds)
- Upload receipts that aren’t from Amazon.
- Answer 1-question surveys like “Do you like air?”
- $10/month in Amazon credit.
Caveat: Invite-only. So get cozy waiting at the door.
Ibotta (Buy Groceries, Get Paid to Eat)
- Add grocery offers.
- Buy things you were already going to eat.
- Get cash back or gift cards.
Glitchless hack: Some items = 100% back. So… free food.
ReceiptPal (Turn Receipts into Rent Money… Kinda)
- Take pics of any receipt.
- Fill “point cards” like a coffee shop addict.
- Trade points for cards.
Cursed bonus: The more boring your life is, the more receipts you’ll have.
Flip Those Cards for Real-Life Dollars
CardCash
- Upload card → Get quote → Accept → Get paid (PayPal, etc).
Pro move: Start with smaller cards, because nobody trusts a stranger selling $500 in iTunes.
Raise (You’re the eBay of Gift Cards Now)
- List your card.
- Set price.
- Wait for someone slightly desperate.
Fee alert: They take ~15% so cry quietly in a corner.
Lazy Baby Stack (Do This Now or Regret Later)
- Install Microsoft Rewards, Honey → Do Bing searches like you’re in 2006.
- Google Opinion Rewards → Turn on location or cry when no surveys come.
- Fetch or ReceiptPal → Snap every receipt, even for that sad vending machine Snickers.
- Mistplay → Play fake farming game until you question your life.
- Ibotta → Get cash back for buying peanut butter. Revolutionary.
Warnings for The “I Can Outsmart This” Crowd
- No glitching. You’re not Neo from The Matrix.
- Don’t use fake referrals unless you enjoy bans and burning bridges.
- If anyone says “buy bulk cards, 90% off”—run. That’s not a deal, that’s a trap.
→ Trustwave Warning
→ Axios Fraud Report
Reality Check: Lower Those Expectations
- Drop = slower than molasses on a cold day.
- Amazon Panel = harder to get into than an exclusive cult.
- ReceiptPal = basically Pokémon, but for receipts.
This isn’t “get rich.” This is “build a tiny empire out of boredom.”
Final Thought
This is the weirdest money you’ll ever make. It’s legal. It’s real. It’s free. It’s boring. It works.
Treat it like your ex’s birthday: low effort, low expectations, and somehow… still profitable.
!